


Whatever it takes

by PerriewinkleNerdie



Category: Open Heart (Visual Novel)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Internal Conflict, Light Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-24
Updated: 2019-09-24
Packaged: 2020-10-27 11:35:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20759702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PerriewinkleNerdie/pseuds/PerriewinkleNerdie
Summary: He isn't sure how much longer will he be able to fight it





	Whatever it takes

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, hello, hello!   
After chapter 11 my mind has been working a little too hard, analyzing Ethan’s behavior, his reactions. So, basically, all of the dialogue you’re about to read is directly from that chapter, I just took a spin at what could be going on in that beautiful head of his.

When you begin noticing you have feelings for someone, your mind and body subconsciously starts to gravitate towards them. You can tell that you are doing it, but there is nothing you can do, sooner or later you’re going to break.

And Ethan did just that.

That night in Miami was his breaking point. For weeks he was in denial, trying to convince himself that he didn’t have feelings for Claire, that she was at most, just a friend. A good friend, great even. He trusted her, she wanted to help him and she had her ways of cheering him up without being aware of doing it.

His dam broke. He kissed her like there was no tomorrow, held her like it was the last time he’ll ever see her, pull her close like it was the last time he’d ever get to do that.

Though about that he might have been right.

In one moment he was lost in her, she was his everything. In another, his mind caught up with his heart and made him stop to think.

He had to stop it before it went to far. Before he would not be able to give her up.

He knew that if they went all the way, he would not be able to let her go. Not for a night, not for a day, not ever. He’d like her to stay with him forever and he knew they couldn’t do that. Not in their situation.

So he stopped it. Broke their hearts, gave her excuses, the words bitter in his mouth. They came back to Boston and everything seemed normal to an outside viewer. But it wasn’t.

He knew it would be hard. Seeing her everyday at work and suddenly all he could see was her, her soft moans ringed in his ears, his mind occupied with her beautiful mind and face.

She seemed to be doing okay. Definitely better than him. They managed to keep their facades in front of their coworkers, not raising any suspicions.

Naveen finally got to meet her. Ethan could tell the two would hit it off right away, they were so similar in many aspects. He was right.

His mentor liked her from the moment she entered the room and looked at him, greeting him politely before straying her eyes towards Ethan for a second, then going back to Naveen. He could feel his heart speed up under her gaze. It was at this moment that he knew that, like it or not, he was a goner. If she could make him feel like this with just one glance, just one kiss, what would she do to him if they…

He shook his head, standing by Naveen’s bed, Claire a few steps away from him, doing tests. His thoughts have wandered to her, again. Naveen made a comment on Ethan rubbing off on Claire and their eyes met for a short second. The storm in him intensified, his heart swelling. Memories of their kiss in Miami flooded his mind, not letting him focus on anything else. She was thinking about it too. He could see it in her eyes, her pupils dilated; her breathing picked up. They broke eye contact quickly to prevent Naveen from catching on to anything. Not successfully. At this point, after knowing Naveen for so long, he should have known nothing was going to escape his attention.

“Oh…you two are getting quite close, aren’t you? Sharing this secret and… others…” he trailed off, looking at Ethan smugly, as though he solved the difficult case. He froze for a second, regaining his composure and glaring at his mentor.

They resumed their conversation, discussing Naveen’s condition. He was improving, but Claire, just like him, noticed that not everything was going better.

Then Naveen coughed. And blood showed up on his napkin. Ethan frowned, worry taking over his features.

“Claire, we have a new symptom. We need to run tests on his blood.”

“But we cannot do it without all that paperwork.”

“We do whatever it takes. We’ll have to do it ourselves.”

“Can’t you do it on your own?”

“It would be too suspicious for me to go there alone should someone catch me. Please, Claire, I… _I can’t do this without you…”_ he was desperate. He felt time play tricks on him, laughing in his face against his best efforts. She nodded, her face grim but her eyes were supportive.

“Okay… let’s go.”

“I knew you would understand.” He smiled and opened the door for her, letting her go first. Looking back at Naveen one last time he noticed a knowing smile on his face. He shook his head and went after Claire.

They were walking down the hall, not saying a word to each other. Meanwhile his mind was in a frenzy. His eyes kept on straying to her, taking in her image in the corner of his eye.

He tried. He really tried to throw away any memories from Miami from his brain but it’s just as though she was permanently etched into his head, never to leave.

Ethan suddenly sees Dr. Wen coming their way. His arm shoots out in front of Claire, grabbing her by her waist to stop her movement. She looks at him, confused.

“What is it?”

“It’s dr. Wen, the lab chief. She was supposed to be on a break.” Her eyes shine with alarm, her body frozen.

“She’ll see us! Quick, Dr. Ramsey! Hide in the supply closet!” she says, keeping her voice low, pushing on his chest with her hands, backing him into the room and closing the door behind them.

“Hey- “

“Shhhh…” she put her hand on his mouth almost as if she didn’t think before doing it. They both hold their breath as the footsteps can be heard right outside the door. Ethan wished he could say that he wasn’t breathing because of the threat of being caught, but that was not true.

The truth was, he couldn’t breathe because for the first time since Miami, they were so close to each other. Their bodies pressed against one another in the small space, his arm still around her, her hands on him. He was looking at her, wondering how long he could keep up his act.

They heard Dr. Wen mutter something to herself and leave the hall, going on her break. He felt her body relax against his, letting out her breath. She turned her head towards him and their eyes met. She realized after a second what position they were in. He made himself take her wrist firmly in his hand, moving it away from his mouth.

“We’re going to have to work on our boundaries.” He whispered to her in case someone was still around. _Yes. Work on boundaries. I’d like them gone._

“Definitely. Right after you enlist me to break into this hospital facility with you, right?” her voice was dripping with sarcasm, but he could hear a faint smile.

“… Touché” a smile made its way onto his face.

Their eyes locked again and he took a step towards her, not breaking their eye contact, looking intensely at the woman before him. Their bodies were closer and closer, almost no space between them, the air around them seemed electrified…

… and then he reached behind her for the test tubes, composing himself at the very last second before he gave into his desire.

“We’ll need these.” He held them up so she could see what he was talking about. Her eyes moved from his face to the objects in his palm, her breath coming out shaky with emotions and tension.

Ethan opened the door, looking outside to see if anyone was there and when he was sure they were safe, he held them for her so she could walk out of the storage room.

They got to the lab and closed the door behind them. Claire let out a sigh of relief.

“I think we are in the clear now, but we still should be as quick as possible.” He mused quietly, speaking to her. Then he proceeded to give her instructions on how to prepare the samples while he got the computer ready.

She got to work immediately, composed and focused, while Ethan turned his attention to the computer before him that just seemed to not want to cooperate. He smacked the side of it with his palm, cursing under his breath.

“What’s wrong?” Claire’s concerned voice reached his ears. _So many things._

“It froze up on me. I’ll have to reboot the whole thing before we can continue.” He pressed a few things and the machine came up to life again, the progress bar loading very slowly.

“It looks like it will take some time.” She said, not looking at him.

“Time that we don’t have! We’re risking too much just by- “ he cuts himself off, guilt taking over, his fingers pinching the bridge of his nose. He felt like an asshole, it wasn’t her fault. _None of it wasn’t her fault._ “I’m sorry… I shouldn’t take this out on you.” _And you have every right to call me out on it right now. I deserve it. _

“I know you don’t mean it. You’re just frustrated. I am too.” her voice is certain and confident, her eyes shining and boring into his soul, tearing right through his walls straight into him.

“Thank you for being so understanding. But I can’t afford to push away the one person I can trust with this.” _I trust you_.

“Have you ever done anything like this before?” her question was no doubt about breaking into the lab but the truth was, there were a lot of things that he did for the first time since she appeared in his life.

“Not exactly. But I’ve bent the rules before. I’ve been a thorn in the side of many administrators. Things are… more complicated now that the chief someone I actually respect. But I can’t give up. I owe Naveen everything.” _All my life, the chance to become the doctor I am today… including the chance to meet you… _“I can’t lose him. I _won’t_ lose him.”

“Dr. Ramsey… we’ll find a way. And I’ll be right by your side every step of the way.” She smiled brightly at him, confidence in her voice, her positivity infectious. He fixed his eyes on her, watching her carefully, a small smirk growing on his lips.

“You’re… not like the usual interns, Rookie.” His eyes still on her, unable to move. He snapped out of it a moment later, turning to look at the analyzer, putting in the test information. “Are those samples ready? We need to be quick.”

He looks at her as she fills the last tube with Naveen’s blood without hesitation, doing it perfectly.

“Trustworthy _and_ competent, I see.” He was smiling so widely he was sure his cheeks will hurt later.

“Don’t look so surprised.” She shot his a smirk and loaded the samples into the analyzer. Ethan turned on the machine.

“And now we wait…” he said as both of them leaned against the counter, waiting for the results.

“Can this _be_ any slower?”

“Spoken like someone who’s never monitored an M.R.I.” there it was again, a smile on his face. He was sure that he has never smiled more than after he met her.

The analysis was complete a couple of minutes later, he tears off the printout and proceeds to read it. His face falls.

“What is it?” she asked, concerned, leaning closer to him.

“His erythrocyte sedimentation rate is elevated. Whatever his infection is, it’s still there… But what’s most troubling is his glomerular filtration rate…” his voice trails off as he hands her the report.

“His kidneys could fail. What do we do?”

“We keep trying everything we can think of. We have to find the source of his infection…” he looks at her, her posture betrays her state of mind. “I have some research to do. Update Naveen, leave nothing out. He’ll know if you’re hiding something.” He sighted.

“Yes, Doctor…” she said and turned around, leaving him without another word.

“Claire, wait…” her name seemed so good in his mind. _So right._

“Yes?” she turned around to face him again.

“I just wanted to say… thank you. I suppose I’m in your debt, now.” _Not the first time, not the last and I don’t think I’ll be ever be able to repay you._

“I don’t need you in my debt, Dr. Ramsey. But I need some honesty.”

“What do you mean?” he asked, even though he already knew what she was going to say next. And he was afraid.

“Be honest… _about us._” She looked him straight in the eye, challenging him.

“I’m… not sure what you mean.” He acted like he was shocked by her request, but the truth was, he had no idea how to answer.

“I think you know _exactly_ what I mean.” Her eyes seemed to drill a hole in him, reaching the deepest and darkest parts and shining a light on them.

He turned around, his back to her, just to hide his face. He was losing it again, feeling it slip from his grasp with every second.

Her steps towards him could be heard in the room and then a warm hand was placed on his shoulder.

“Please, Claire. This is _hard enough_ already.” Pain in his voice was evident and he was sure she caught on to that.

“Then why keep fighting it? We both want this. We both _feel_ this. It almost seems… inevitable…” she sounded vulnerable, opening her heart to him again. His control was dissipating faster and faster, threatening to leave him altogether.

He turned around to face her, locking their eyes. He was sure that she could see right through him just by looking into his eyes. All the longing he felt towards her… _all the pain_…

His hand acted before his brain registered what was happening. His fingers stroked her cheek gently, her smooth and delicate skin soft under his fingertips.

“We’re doctors, Claire. Fighting the inevitable is our job description.” He took his hand away and walked past her, _running away from her_, not looking back.

He reached his office and slumped against the door heavily, his breathing elevated, his heart beating way too fast, hurting in his chest, all the energy leaving his body.

He managed to escape before slipping again. She put her hand on him and he was mere seconds away from pushing her up against the counter and kissing her, just like he wanted to in the supply closet and countless times before that, every time he saw her.

He realized that if he had some self-control before today, he had none right now. It all flew out the window when he reached for her in the hall, trying to stop her from exposing them.

_Exposing them_.

He didn’t know how long he could keep himself from acting on his feelings. She was important to him, much too important to compromise her career and her reputation. But he was also a human, a simple man. His heart ached when he saw her, his mind froze, his eyes followed her every move.

He needed to figure things between them. Do everything he could to find a way.

_Whatever it takes._


End file.
